Best Kinky quotes
It’s no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn’t even speak to each other if they met at a party.:-Nick Hornby
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.:-Groucho Marx
A man who correctly guesses a woman`s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.:-Lucille Ball
My first time I jacked off, I thought I’d invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.:-Chuck Palahniuk
Good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere.:-Helen Gurley Brown
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.:-Woody Allen
Wilt Chamberlain had sex with 10,000 women, but how many of them did he truly love? I would say 3,000 at most.:-Sean O’Connor
There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.:-Lynn Lavner
Sexual quotes
My first time I jacked off, I thought I’d invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.:-Chuck Palahniuk
Good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere.:-Helen Gurley Brown
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it’s fantastic.:-Woody Allen
You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.:-Dolly Parton
My heart’s in the right place. I know, cuz I hid it there.:-Carrie Fisher
My girlfriend always laughs during sex, no matter what she’s reading.:-Emo Philips
Before casual sex, it’s best not to mention to your partner that you might want to do a little tweeting afterward.:-Greg Tamblyn
You know that look women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.:-Steve Martin
I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said ‘No.:-Woody Allen
Funny Sex Quotes
It’s been so long since I’ve had sex I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.:-Joan Rivers
My wife is a sex object every time I ask for sex, she objects.:-Les Dawson
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.:-Robin Williams
Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.:-Dave Attell
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.:-Groucho Marx
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp.:-Joan Rivers
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.:-Chris Rock
Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from.:-Nora Ephron
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.:-Joan Rivers
Best Kinky Sex Quotes
What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn’t understand math.:-Mike Birbiglia
Women are cursed, and men are the proof.:-Roseanne Barr
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.:-Lily Tomlin
Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think— in a deeper voice.:-Bill Cosby
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.:-George Burns
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.:-George Burns
Remember, sex is like a Chinese dinner. It ain’t over ’til you both get your cookie.:-Alec Baldwin
If it wasn’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.:-Rodney Dangerfield
Funny sexual quotes
Evolution has programmed our brains to find two things particularly interesting, and therefore memorable: jokes and sex – and especially, it seems, jokes about sex.:-Joshua Foer
Sex is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other.:-Marquis de Sade
I think it is funny that we were freer about sexuality in the 4th century B.C. It is a little disconcerting.:-Angelina Jolie
The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.:-Alfred Kinsey
My sexuality is not an inferior trait that needs to be chaperoned by emotionalism or morality.:-Alice Bag
Sex is the driving force on the planet. We should embrace it, not see it as the enemy.:-Hugh Hefner
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